In the majority of today's serious relationships, a common trend is to move in with each other. This is usually the last step before couples decide to get married. While this is common, there are alot of Pros and Cons to "Shacking" before marriage. My wife and I moved in together a year and a half before we tied the knot. We enjoyed the comforts of going to bed together, and waking up to each other. We learned each other's habits both good and bad, and it really brought us closer together. While staying together we grew a strong relationship with God. Through developing this relationship with God, we learned how shacking can be more of a problem for your relationship than you think. Sleeping in a bed together, and having sex in that bed hendered alot of our blessings. It also welcomed alot of strain and stress to our relationship. Before we moved in together we had fights and disagreements like any other couple, but as soon as we moved in the fighting became more frequent and more intense. We had stress on our jobs that came from out of nowhere and, we had issues with our parents. It was like one thing after another constantly attacking us because we were being hard headed and not listening to God. Most people that shack up think they are just dealing with everyday stresses, but they dont know that alot of that stress comes from disobedience to God. So if you are considering shacking before jumping the broom, our advice is to you is rethink your decsion. This choice could save you from a lot of stress on relationship and your life.
The Jones'
What are your thoughts?
Do you think that the getting to know you stage while living together will be better after the marriage? Some people may feel like you may as well go ahead an get it over with....
ReplyDeleteWell this is kind of a catch 22. Like we said shacking can show you a person for who they really are. Sometimes you have to make sacrafices to see that your relationship continues to grow the way you want it to. Getting married and discovering your spouse has some bad habits could have its challenges, but that when real love comes in to play.
ReplyDeleteLike you have said now a days people are just moving in togethere instead of waiting to get clear direction from God. I to did the same thing but when you know better you do better. What people fail to realize is that God works in His timing and not ours. I tell people all the time that there are two wills that opperate in the earth. It's OUR WILL thens there's GOD'S WILL. So when you understand this key principal you know and understand that the bible is clear when it says that God knows the end of a thing before the beginning. So it is important that you as well as your partner hear the Voice of God in your relationship because moving ahead of God because this decision has cost some people there marriages. For those that are living with there partner without being married ask yourself this question " What blessings have I or Will I forfit because I am out of the Will Of God?
ReplyDeleteWell said Dondre. People also need to understand God doesnt change his word for you. We used to think that because were going to church and being faithful, that God would look over us living together. NOT!!! We were punished just like people that arent going to church and are out doing wrong. So please dont think you get a pass for going to church. All of that faithfuliness is void until you do whats pleasing in the eyes of God
ReplyDeleteThis issue hits so close to home because me and my boyfriend were shacking up until we began making plans to get married. We have recently began living apart and have been seeing the pastor for some marriage counseling. Living together before marriage is not apart of God's perfect will and blessings can and will be blocked. We are not perfect but we are trying to go about doing things the right way in order to receive ALL of our blessings and have a healthy marriage. I'm so glad you guys have decided to do this blog because I think I can learn a thing or two. I will be looking forward to indulging in future topics and I will be tuned in!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much raychel for sharing your experience.. we look forward to chatting with you on future post and open discussions..please feel free to share your advice and discussion topics anytime.
ReplyDeleteFirst I wanna say I love you guys and I think what you have is beautiful. And being a part off this blog is great being the ages we are. But its funny how God speaks, my boyfriend and I are about too move in together. Our relationship is very hard with him in Memphis and me in St. Louis. But we have talked about this move for quite sometime and I pray for strength because we know its not pleasing in Gods eyes but being having some type off support can also help. We have known each other for 6th years, he has no kids and I have 1 which is very rare. But we don't know how else to deal with the distance. We talk about marriage, and we want it both but we feel the distance will turn for the worse. Any advice?
ReplyDeleteOur advice to you is, be patient. If you are considering getting married go to marriage counseling. Don't be in a such a rush. When you feel like you have found the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with, you need to think about the long term effects of your current actions. Take your time and do things the right way. You will appreciate it later. Continue to pray about it together.Be specific to God on what it is your wanting. Have faith in god and never doubt his doin. For he will make it very clear to yall which path to follow. We will keep your relationship in our prayers Thank you for your comment Kim.
ReplyDeleteMy advise is that if God has ordained your marriage God will do what he needs to do in order to keep this relationshop fresh and new. The bible says that what God has put together let no man put asunder. So If God says that this is your husband or your wife then he will do what ever it takes to get this marriage together. You hear all the time the phrase " that what's ment to be will be" and that's how God works. Because what God has spoken it has to accomplish what he intended it to do. Marriage is a very serious and life long decision that is to be taken serious. Pray and ask God for clarity as for what he wants you and you partner to do.
ReplyDeleteThanks you guys, im so loving the words of wisdom from people I grew with. Its shows how we have develop from highschool, loving the bond you have with God. Be blessed, and I will stayed tuned!!
ReplyDeleteLove this blog!! Look forward to future posts. I'm not married but love the insight and see how it can be helpful. I shacked with my children's father and we planned to get married but we didn't. I've decided not to live with another man until I'm married because of my children. I feel that it just doesn't look good for your child to see you sharing a bedroom let alone a bed that's not your spouse. Children copy and imitate their parents behavior so I try to set a good example of I want them to be. I have very inquisitive children so I don't have a good way to explain why mommy's new beau now lives with us that's not your father or step father not a relative at just Mr. So and So.
ReplyDeleteYou are so right about what goes on around your children because the bible is clear when it says to train up a child in the way that they should go so when they are old they will not depart from it. Alot of people go into marriage without considering the thought or feelings of there children. I just believe that sometimes the children can see and pick up on things that the parents don't see because they are blinded by what they want instead of whats best for all of us. Even though it is not the decision of the children whether this marriage will work or not but it's still vital to this union as well. That's why we must listen to our children because the bible says that God will use whoever he needs to in order to get His message across. When you really understand how important and vital marriage is you realize that other people are watching you without saying a word just to see if the God that you say you love is still in the buisness of keeping marriages. Mainly because the world has made marriage a in today and gone tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteMy hubby and I were just discussing this the other day.. so many women who grew up in households where their moms welcomed so many different men in their lives often become that woman when they grow up. Meaning they grow up and portray those same bad habits of letting their kids witness unhealthy relationships with men they barely even know. Its like history repeating its self over and over again. Somebody has to break the trend. Its so refreshing to know that you don't expose your babies to that type of environment. Especially girls cause you want them to grow up and know how to respect themselves so that they will teach their kids the right way.
ReplyDeleteI am so loving this blog I am married to my high school sweethear. We shacked without knowing any better we had more argument than anything. We joined a church and the pastor point blank told us either yall need to get married or one needs to move out. We got married the week after we joined church during church service and I can say we have been receiving our blessing and also a happy marriage. We've read the bible together, prayed together, and also trying to set a good example for the youth that's married also. When God show up he show out, and I'm thankful for it all. Trials and tribulations come to help you grow, but it's up to you to learn from your mistakes.
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I waited until after we married to live together. We didn't really connect until after he gotten out of the military. Way after. We're still in the learning each other again stage.
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